Beauty From Ashes: Do it Afraid

We recently went on a "mini" family vacation to Crivitz, WI, which use to be an old favorite neck of the woods for our family. The last time we were there was when Megan was just under a year old, so about 12 years ago.

One day Mark & I decided to take the kids on a hike through the woods in search of a good swimming spot.

What we were after (at least I was!) was like a real-life-nature-type diving board. I remembered how much fun I had as a kid doing that kind of stuff. Exploring. Using our imagination with nature to find fun things to do.

Thankfully, we both remembered the way ... and we came upon a small group of young college-aged kids who were already partaking in the fun, but from a much, much higher spot. Laughing and having a blast.

Living Life.

The kids watched for awhile, taking it all in and then the question came: Well, who is going to go first?

I sure expected Megan or Luke to fight for that spot, but instead our more reserved, oldest child, Matthew, stepped up to the edge. This was after he watched one of the other girls do it and he said, Well, if she can do it, then so can I!
Plus, I think he finally is starting to understand & realize at his age of almost 15 that this was one of those opportunities in Life that you just don't pass up!

And in he went with an impressive splash, followed by Luke, of course! ... and then it was Megan's turn.

And she froze. Didn't move or speak.

Put me into a state of confusion because this is the one child of ours who at 2 years old was climbing as high as humanly possible on our Rainbow play set and stubbornly demanded to do it alone! Many times she had people in our backyard in a state of shock or awe as she climbed, climbed, climbed ... and didn't fall.

No fear comes to mind when I think back to her toddler years and also when she embraced gymnastics as a preschooler. Years later came cheerleading and the higher she could throw a teammate, the better. Yikes! Plus, she is more than willing to go on every single ride at Great America over and over and over, including the Big Drop. {Yep, she didn't get this last one from me!}

I volunteered to jump in then before her {I was planning on doing this anyway, yes indeed!}, then Mark went in, and yet she still couldn't do it.

The other group actually started cheering her on, like us. Words like, Come on! You can do it! ... and her brothers yelling, Megan it is REALLY fun!

I stayed in figuring I could coax her along in that way, but nothing was working. And I was literally running out of steam treading water & starting to remind her of this ... :)

Yet, I knew how much this daughter of ours would enjoy this experience, but what I also recognized all too familiarly was her fear. She was literally having an anxiety attack of some kind.

I sort of intuitively knew that if I got her talking about it, asking her some questions to talk her through it, that she could possibly work through this. Overcome it if she chose to, in her way. More importantly, I was trying to understand her better. Maybe teach her something in this.

She said, "I can't see the bottom, and I am afraid of heights."{huh? I was thinking ... fear of heights?! Okay...}
I said, "Megan, I understand. I am right here. I won't let anything happen to you! And just so you know, you can change your mind. It's okay!"

Still a long pause ...

And then my final words that came out of my mouth that gave her the courage & that leap of faith, words that have helped me countless times in my own life were: "Megan, Do it Afraid."

She took a deep breath and jumped! And came up from the water with one big Smile on her face.

Well, after that we couldn't get her or her brothers to stop. I said to Mark something along the lines of "free entertainment is sure nice from time to time, huh?" (well, actually $3 for a day pass... not bad!)

Later we talked about the whole experience, and I shared several things on my Do It Afraid list with them.

One was finally getting on an airplane back in 2008 to San Diego, CA after not being able to for over 20 years. My first experience with such severe turbulence leaving Denver wasn't so pretty and that memory kept me stuck in a place of paralyzing fear for years, unfortunately.

Trust me, everybody along the way (including myself!) tried every which way to convince me and/or talk me out of this fear of mine, but nothing worked. So I sort of gave up the idea of ever traveling anywhere by airplane ever again.

But I came to a point in my Life that I knew it was time to set that one aside ... or face the fear head on is what I like to call it.

I obviously survived~ and a big shout out to my sister, Tracy, who allowed me to cling to her for dear life (I think I may have left some bruises~)

I have since taken several more planes and didn't freak out too badly! But each time I had to Do It Afraid still. Probably always will. {Flying is just not my thing and I don't really see that changing anytime soon!}

I sense the kids took away some good lessons from our little trip away, but what they talk about most is our time at the cliff.

I must say that I agree with them. That sure was some good memory making times, but what I keep closer to my mind & heart is what I think Megan learned about herself through it all. Life lessons she can and will take with her. Learn from. Grow. To help her along the next time.

Lessons like believing in yourself. Having courage even while afraid. Being brave and willing enough to try something new. That it is okay to admit how you are feeling.

But much more importantly I hope what she takes with her much more than the words of Do it Afraid is knowing that she is never alone. In every sense of the word. I hope you do, too.