Grief

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross says that there are five stages of grief: denial, isolation, anger, depression, and acceptance. I think every human being experiences grief in some way, at some time in your life. It's normal. Either it is the loss of someone you love or a dream or a "thing," a relationship, a job ...something that is taken from us when we least expect it or even if we do, you still don't really "expect" it. I wish Elizabeth would've added "shock" to her list because it sure seems to fit, at least in my experience. I'm sure it fits one of those categories just nicely.

The first time that I experienced grief was when I was 16-years old, and my grandma died on Thanksgiving Day of that year. She was my mom's best friend. Grandma was fun and delightful! I can still remember her laugh. The one thing I will always remember about her is that she was always nice to me. My mom and grandma talked every day, first thing in the morning, for hours. I use to wonder what in the world they could be talking about for so long. I've come to appreciate that they were talking about Life....kids, husbands, daily stresses, etc. Because it always feels so good to talk to someone who understands or can offer a listening ear. A best friend is priceless.

I have grieved five children, my mother, a childhood, pets, dreams, and friendships. I am in grief now, it seems, once again, as life goes. The "details" don't really matter, except that I am again experiencing something that is starting to feel familiar. That many of you probably understand all too well.

What I've learned is that I will get through it. The truth is the only way around it is to go through it. It always surprises me when the feelings ebb and flow...from anger to sadness, then back to bargaining, to anger once again. You'd think it'd be a nice step-by-step process, but that isn't reality. I'm not a big believer in the famous saying, "Time heals all wounds." I believe time helps, but doesn't heal. It is a wound after all; a scar.

That song playing on the radio by Idina Menzel called, "Let It Go," reminds me, among other great songs. Music is healing, I know this for sure.

Grief stinks, but it is worth it if you learn the lessons along the way. Eventually, you will come to the acceptance, and so will I.