Blessings in disguise

It has been very easy to for me to fall into a place that I like to call the "pit" where I can only see the world from my own vantage point, especially lately with chronic sleep deprivation really taking its toll on me both physically and psychologically.

So I've had to fight hard against going there...and it hasn't been easy...and I've fallen into it many times...and I know it will be a continuous struggle of being tempted to go there, however, the heartfelt prayers of those that love me have lifted me up and out of my "pits" many times.

I press on with Hope for what is to come... what awaits.

Please click here to watch, listen, enjoy this very inspiring and encouraging you tube video...because it is songs and videos like this one that have literally pulled me out of my pit time and time again...
It is called "Blessings" by Laura Story.

My sister, Tracy, sent me this song/video because she intimately knows the path I have walked in my Life...and she has walked it with me...many times having to do the "carrying of my load" for me...and because she knows that I am currently in the throws of  many "sleepless nights"...

She just knew that I needed the encouragement and uprooting this song brings. I hope you found that too.

I think we all need a little bit of that right now in our world, wouldn't you agree? I think of what is going on in Wisconsin alone, and how that affects our family being apart of a union...then my mind turns to Japan...and then to the Police Officer recently killed in Fond du Lac in the line of duty...and as I drive around my city I am reminded of it all when I see half-staff American flags flying everywhere.

As I take a step back and I look "outside of my own little world" to just the needs of our closest loved ones, friends, and neighbors..and then out to the world, my heart simply breaks.

Because I have realized personally that sometimes what Life has to offer just really stinks! Sometimes worse than stinks. Much, much worse than that. And it can be really, really hard to walk in it and through it...

Oh! But that's when the "message" of Laura Story's song comes to life!

What if the Trials in my Life have really been mercies in disguise?

And then I am challenged to think and ask God...does that mean every single one?
And then I begin to list them for Him...one after the other...

I have bowed on my knee before my God and I have prayed desperately with my tears and with no words for healing...peace...wisdom...to hear His Voice in my sleepless nights...relief...to just take it from me...please...

And I have been known on many occasions to have shaken my fist before Him and at Him ... just letting my anger flow out of me...and then I realized in a big way - like a smack upside my head - that He is God after all. And He can take it. Not only can He take it, but He asks us to hand it over to Him so that He can carry our burdens for us. After all, it is His Yoke that is easy, not mine.

And in His great love, grace and mercy, He has just simply allowed me to beat my fists on His chest over and over and over again...until I had nothing left...and as long as it took.

I easily become overwhelmed by it all - don't you? don't we all?

But I have learned that when I fall into the "pit"... I then begin to question and doubt God's goodness...His Love for me...us...the world...and I choose not to even go there anymore because I have learned that that doesn't serve me or anyone else well at all.

And then He reminds me tirelessly in Love that He has given me so many Promises...and He has been Faithful to me so many times...yet I act and think as if they are not enough...that He is not enough...

Hmm...I wonder. Maybe that is and has been my problem all along.

Discontentment. Ingratitude.

A not-so thankful heart for all that I have been given.

And then in a whisper He humbly reminds me that in each and every tear, in each and every devastating loss that has scarred my heart to its core, in each and every disappointment, in each and every dream that died, in each and every sleepless night, betrayal, scar, physical symptom of Lyme disease....

In it ALL...I have never walked alone. Not one step. In fact, I know for sure that most of the time I have been carried because He knew that is what I needed. I just couldn't - nor can do it alone anymore.

What I have learned through my Healing and through my deepest heartaches is that
This is not my home, nor yours.

Now THAT is something to smile about...that is something to focus on...

that is something to take heart in...that is something to press on towards!

Heaven awaits...it just does...and there we will have everything we need...everything.

So I challenge myself often with these ideas and wrestle with the answers I am given: What IF my Healing has indeed come through all the aches, scars, wounds of my life? What IF my Healing has come through all of the Storms of my Life...What IF every trial truly has all been Blessing in disguise?

What IF all of my trials have in fact been my greatest teacher?

Well, since I enjoy a "challenge"...and if all of that is indeed True, which I know it is~ then that means:

It has all been a blessing. And it has all been good because it has all been filtered through the arms of Love...

I say YES! to that.