Pain Demands to be Felt

I first heard this quote, "Pain demands to be felt" when I watched a movie called The Fault in Our Stars. It just jumped out at me & hit that heart spot. It stopped me dead in my tracks because it was what I really needed to hear at that time. I simply love quotes like this!! So deep and meaningful, yet so simple. I tried to read the book; however, I 'knew' it wasn't going to have a happy ending, so I put it down. Then, Megan talked me into seeing the movie....okay- good Mom/Daughter time, so I went, but I left the movie with a tear-stained face and a heavy heart. The lesson of 'it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' didn't seem to help.

This quote has stuck with me. It reminds me of the stages of grief and how you have to go through it in order to get to the other side. The side of acceptance. I like to call this freedom.

I have experienced this in my life in recent months with a friendship that I treasured. It hasn't been pretty, and it sure hasn't been easy, but it is what it is. I  am reminded of the Serenity Prayer, my sister's favorite. It is one that I have memorized. Have you read it? It sure is powerful & if applied, freeing.

 
Why is it to hard to accept the things we cannot change? And why is it so hard to have the courage to know the difference? Sometimes it is hard to even know the difference.

"Pain demands to be felt." We try to ignore it and make it go away. So we must feel it. Some run it out; some immerse themselves in family, work and activities. Some soothe it with food or drink or the arms of someone else. It is all about the means of trying to forget the pain gnawing at you so you try to push it into a deep place where it won't be felt. We try to numb it, but the pain keeps on popping up. There is always a reminder of what is there.

It doesn't go away until you allow the only One who can heal it to do so.

For as beautiful and awesome as my life is right now, I feel enormous pain over the loss of this friendship. The aching hole in my heart because she isn't in my life is a constant. I try to ignore the pain. I try to focus on all that is wonderful in my life and the good memories. I will mourn the loss and feel the pain so I can be free of this nagging ache in my soul.

The pain has to be confronted, embraced and dealt with. I know this to be true. Ignoring it only puts off the inevitable, and that destroys us and others in the process. I will get by as I always do, and so will you.