I offered to write my Grandma's obituary. It will be my first one. I hope I do her proud. I don't want to write the "usual" type, where it lists...survived by...preceded in death by..,etc. Yes, all of those things are important and will be written, but I want people to know my Grandma and what her life meant.
Her LIFE...all 99 years, 10 months and 24 days of it!
The best obituary, I ever read, was written by my friend, Cheryl, and it was for my mom. Please click here to read it. I hope I can express to others my grandma's life in the same way; however, her personality being more private and introverted may make it more difficult to write.
The last time I saw my grandma she was lively, communicative, funny and looked happy. One time, she shared her private feelings with me about my childhood that profoundly affected me. I'd say so much so that it will be the title of my memoir, if I ever write it...Tossed Aside Like a Rag Doll and I will dedicate it to her. We really connected that day in a special way.
Yes, she was struggling physically, but she was able to sit outside on her porch with her family. I asked her if I could paint her fingernails a pretty pink color that I picked out just for her. I loved seeing the smile on her face when she nodded yes.
We celebrated her birthday with her favorite foods and dessert. We showered her with presents and flowers. She smiled and laughed often. The sun was shining, and the day was beautiful. It was the best of times. That is how I will remember her.
My grandma and I shared our love for writing and reading. When they moved to Arkansas when I was 10-years old, our relationship changed to a pen pal one. We got to know each other in a different, special kind of way through all of those letters, back and forth. I saved many of them, and I will read them again soon. We continued this until a few years ago when she couldn't write any longer. Although I continued writing to her, I knew she was filled with great sadness that she couldn't write back.
I will spend the next few weeks "interviewing" my family members about my grandma's life. I'm not really after the facts per se, but rather how she touched their lives. What they learned from her...what they loved about her... what was her childhood like...what did she love about life? Some of it might make it into the obituary; some of might not.
I'd say it pretty much comes down to: What's her legacy? Hmm...something I think matters to each one of us. Something I hope to capture in her obituary.
That song by Nicole Nordeman called, Legacy, comes to my mind as I write this. She sings, "I want to leave a legacy. How will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?"
When I write my grandma's obituary, I will write from a place of how she always made me feel, and that was loved and accepted all of the time. She was one of the kindest people I have ever met. I will remember school shoe shopping with her when I was a kid. I will remember the drive down to Arkansas, with all 5 of us, plus the dog smashed into a baby blue colored Pinto, rusted floor and all. She would bake us the best Christmas cookies and mail them each year. Her deep faith in God was genuine, private and understood. I never doubted her when she said she was praying for me.
I will spend the next few weeks "interviewing" my family members about my grandma's life. I'm not really after the facts per se, but rather how she touched their lives. What they learned from her...what they loved about her... what was her childhood like...what did she love about life? Some of it might make it into the obituary; some of might not.
I'd say it pretty much comes down to: What's her legacy? Hmm...something I think matters to each one of us. Something I hope to capture in her obituary.
That song by Nicole Nordeman called, Legacy, comes to my mind as I write this. She sings, "I want to leave a legacy. How will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?"
When I write my grandma's obituary, I will write from a place of how she always made me feel, and that was loved and accepted all of the time. She was one of the kindest people I have ever met. I will remember school shoe shopping with her when I was a kid. I will remember the drive down to Arkansas, with all 5 of us, plus the dog smashed into a baby blue colored Pinto, rusted floor and all. She would bake us the best Christmas cookies and mail them each year. Her deep faith in God was genuine, private and understood. I never doubted her when she said she was praying for me.
I'm happy today that my grandma has made it safely home. She didn't reach the "milestone" that we had all hoped for, but in the big scheme of things, I don't think it really matters. She lived a good, long life that I am glad I got to be apart of. She will be deeply missed and fondly remembered.
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| Grandma, Mom, Tracy and I ~ 1973 |
Grandma on her 99th birthday
Betty H. Edwards, Feb. 25, 1915 - January 18, 2015, born in Chicago, IL.
Birth name: Sara Elizabeth (Betty) Hines
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