I saw Dr.Borden (Lyme disease doctor) yesterday and wanted to "update" people who are following me on my health journey.
As I figured, my body is in an ACTIVE state of fighting off Lyme disease right now, more so than ever before. I sort of knew this because of how bad some of my symptoms have been in the past 3 months. It seems every symptom I have has either intensified or changed in some way. Or I have new symptoms now to add to the mix. What is going on with this, getting worse and worse instead of better? I have often thought over and over.
So I reported to the doc that I've been dealing with this awful, chronic pain in my neck/shoulders/back that is a "new" symptom that my current pain medications aren't even touching. It has actually been quite comical in our house lately if you are able look for the humor in the situation: Mark on the floor doing HIS back stretching exercises for HIS back problem, and now me, with mine. If you were a fly on the wall you would definitely think: It sure looks like they are getting OLD in this house.
Dr. Borden says this is a good sign (what?), and a very strong indicator that my body is FINALLY at a place of being able to get rid of Lyme disease.
We've sort of come full circle is what he said. You see, when I first came to him back in May, I had already been taking strong antibiotics for 8 months and getting nowhere. I had already seen 15+ "doctors", I had already "tried" everything. I was at the end of my rope. I went into that appointment knowing he was my last ditch effort. I think he knew it, too, but took on my case with a strong confidence that he could get me well, as he has seen it happen many times before.
But because I, and my vast load of "specialists" weren't EVER treating the cause of WHY I was sick, but rather the "symptoms"......is WHY I couldn't ever get well.
Dr. Borden's treatment approach goes after the CAUSE of disease - period. Even if you have cancer (he & I had a very interesting talk about that, by the way). He deals mostly with Lyme Disease and all of its nasty friends, but is always after the CAUSE of why someone is sick.
In my case, Lyme disease had attacked my whole endocrine system, particularly my thyroid and adrenal glands. The bacteria gets in your body and "attacks" different organs and glands causing major disruption. Taking all the hormones in the world to "treat" my low hormones wasn't ever going to help because they weren't the CAUSE of my sickness. Eating a gluten free diet because I have Celiac Disease wasn't going to cut it either. Spending a year working with a nutritionist to change around my diet didn't help either. Taking every and all different supplements weren't the answer. Repeating and adding on more and more "tests" wasn't going to get me there either.
That is what I've been doing since 2002, but had already felt sick the majority of my life.
Some clarification is probably needed at this point: along with Lyme Disease, it is very common to also get coinfections, that are often WORSE than lyme, mimic a "parasite", come in groups, and are very often missed (as in my case). Plus, the craziest thing is - the blood tests for coinfections are even more unreliable than the ones for Lyme.
The CAUSE of WHY I've been sick all of these years IS Lyme, but because of the coinfections "being in the way", there was no way of getting at the lyme bacteria itself. Get it? I finally got it, once he explained it that way to me.
That's what Dr.Borden's goal was: to get all the other "infections" out of the way so we could directly ATTACK and ERADICATE Lyme Disease - FINALLY.
Well friends..........I am now at that point in this long, long health journey. With so many ups and downs, I can't even count.
I NEEDED to know - so I just asked him, with much trepidation, because I have asked THAT one question thousands of times it seems: How long until I feel better?
He only paused for a second (he's always remained the confident one). Of course, (because it's in my nature, which isn't always a good thing), I didn't wait for his answer. Instead I said again: Please DO NOT tell me years, please. Maybe by next summer? Is that even a possibility?And he said, Definitely.
I sort of sat there, stunned for a moment by his answer. Are you serious? I thought. I'm only looking at living like this for less than 6 months after ALL of this time? Seriously? Oh my! I don't even KNOW what it FEELS like to feel HEALTHY. Will I even recognize it when it comes? All of these thoughts swirled around in my head as I was paying my bill, gathering my new medications, and wishing him and his staff a Merry Christmas.
I believe God whispered through Dr. Borden at that PERFECT moment exactly what my soul needed to hear, especially at this time of year: HOPE.
Hope that I WILL finally beat this disease once and for all. Hope that there IS a light at the end of this tunnel. Hope that I WILL feel healthy and strong and ALIVE soon. Hope that this journey has been worth it; that I can use what I've learned to help someone else.
Thank you to all of you who have hung in there with me; those who have been there to lean on, talk to, cry to, vent on, whatever....you know who you are and I hope you know how much I appreciate all of the support and encouragement along the way.
Please pray for me if you think of it, that I am able to continue to "hang in there" while I patiently wait for Healing to come. That I stay Hopeful.
Showing posts with label Dr. Brian Borden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dr. Brian Borden. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
My battle with Lyme Disease
{A friendly warning: a long post because it's unfortunately a long story}
Who would have thought that a tiny, black, creepy little bug, could cause such havoc on the human body? That a bug, smaller than your pinky fingernail, could totally turn your life upside down? Well, definitely not me! Gosh, growing up in Wisconsin, it seemed like everyone knew about ticks and Lyme Disease. It really never seemed to be a big deal really. You were just warned to pay extra special attention in the summer. Mostly, I remember us worrying more for our dogs, than for us. No one ever worried about getting bit or any long terms effects. As kids, we vacationed "up north" near Montello, WI and it was very, very rare to not see us kids running around at night with our flashlights. Or ever not being outside. It was great fun!
When Megan was just a baby, she had a tick stuck on her head. Mark did his magic and took care of it. Never thought about it again, especially after our dog, Cally, died in 2007.
That was until last summer when one test turned things around for me.
You see, I had been struggling with chronic health problems up until that point for a long, long time. Since high school, I never felt quite right; always so, so fatigued. I battled with depression for years. In college I would schedule my classes around my nap time. I thought everyone operated this way. It never dawned on me that people didn't feel as sick as I did.
In a few years time, I completed my Teaching Degree when Matthew and Megan were still very small. My student teaching involved 4 months of full-time work while Mark worked the weekends to compensate. During this time, I was also in the midst of the roller coaster ride of grief. Then along came our special blessing, Luke, after a long time of waiting. His early life brought many challenges for both of us battling thrush and me needing a kidney stone removed when he was just 2 weeks old. In 2007, I lost my mom to cancer and our beloved dog, Cally, went to Rainbow Bridge. Do you think God was trying to get my attention? Only He knows why it took so much.
I continued to push myself despite feeling worse and worse. After all, I was trying to raise a family! I couldn't just take some sick days. We all just tried to adapt to "mom is always sick & can't get better" mentality. What a hopeless situation we were in. At least that is how it looked and felt.
It was all just too much for my poor body and soul to handle. Our bodies weren't designed to withstand so many years of emotional, spiritual, and physical stress. So mine shut down. I had kept myself so busy that I didn't notice how much the years of stress were damaging my being, on all levels.
I recall the exact moment the crash came: I was riding on a spinning bike right after Christmas 2007 trying to burn off those calories we all gain. All of a sudden, I felt this overwhelming dark cloud engulf me, stopping me dead in my tracks (or shall I say dead in my peddle stroke?) I remember thinking, "Something is just not right with me."
This began the quest to find out what was wrong with me. I've had every "test" under the sun, many diagnoses, hours and hours on the Internet searching for answers. How many times I'd sit in front of a doctor and he'd be shaking his head saying, "I just don't know what to do anymore." I started going from doctor to doctor to doctor....even for our 14-year wedding anniversary, Mark & I drove to see a "Specialist" in Pennsylvania. I was that desperate to get well. I would do whatever it took.
So, I spent about 3 years going around in circles, either getting worse from the crazy medications and doses, or I didn't have any improvements at all. I was swallowing so many pills and supplements that I'd forget what I'd taken or not taken. All awhile we were watching our money fly out the window. I was stuck in a vicious never ending cycle of hopelessness and despair. There seemed no way out, no place else to turn.
The best way I can describe how I've felt the majority of my life, and honestly, still do on a daily basis is to compare it to how it felt when you were a teenager or a college student and you pulled an "all-nighter". Maybe some of you still do that, but unless you have a baby, I think that is something you might want to fix :) That just cannot be good for the body. Anyway, do you remember how you felt that next day? Like a truck hit you? Like it took so much energy to even put two thoughts together, let alone function in life? Now imagine feeling that way, yet still having to work or take care of a family or go to school or even take care of simple tasks such as laundry and eating? And it's not only the debilitating fatigue. That is just the main common symptom all people with disease share. Add on a host of many other symptoms, many times excruciating pain. That is what people with chronic illness go through on a daily basis, sometimes even hourly.
Usually a good nights sleep would take care of the problem. Not for me, nor for many, many people out there suffering with ill health. No matter how much sleep I could ever possibly get would never, ever make me feel rested. I somehow have been able to keep going, one foot in front of the other. In God's great mercy, strength, and faithfulness, He is carrying me.
Finally, I went to my regular doctor for a yearly "check-up" and she ended up referring me to a Hematologist. During my consult, he said something like, "It looks to me like you have some sort of chronic infection or virus that has worn down your immune system." He ran some additional tests. All I knew was that I was very, very sick and had no clear direction anymore on how to get better.
I came home and thought about what he said, and then I remembered in all my years of diligently searching for answers on the Internet, I recalled reading "if you are chronically ill and have not been able to get better, you should be tested for Lyme Disease." My immediate thought was, "That's not me. I don't remember being bit by a tick or having a rash. I don't have joint pain." But then again, I did frolic in the up north woods every summer as a child. Hmmm...
This began my research into the best, most accurate, recommended test, treatment and doctor for Lyme Disease in Wisconsin. (Can you tell I'm a researcher?) My eyes were opened to the vast world of those suffering with Lyme. I already knew that the normal lab test your doctor would run was highly inaccurate - many, many false negatives. I figured I might as well get the most accurate test to just rule it out, never ever expecting that I had it. And, plus, out of the 15+ doctors I went to, no one ever suggested this as even a remote possibility.
When the results came back positive, I almost fell over. By this point, I knew all too well what this disease entailed, and I didn't even want to go there. A tick-borne bacteria infection that overtakes your body. A disease that some say you can never get rid of. A disease which carries right along with it, many, many other infections. The controversy about what treatment type is best is a confusing, never-ending cycle.
My Lyme Specialist thinks that I've had the disease for over 20 years. The cause of my other diseases: Celiac Disease, Hashimoto's, Hypopituitary, and Addison's Disease. Finally, an answer, some direction. The treatment: to start high doses of a various antibiotics immediately for a long period of time, and to keep trying different combinations until something worked. OK - let's go. Let's eradicate this sucker and his friends.....that was in July 2009.
After 8 months of treatment, and no progress made, plus the heaviness of life finally taking its toll, I reached a place of complete brokenness, both in body and spirit. I knew the only way I could keep going was to look Up and reach Out. To surrender and let God put the pieces back together in His way, not mine.
So I began the process of renewing my mind and heart: to finally accept a life of sickness. I knew that I would somehow have to find a way to try and live with it, instead of fighting it. However, I also knew that I couldn't allow my Spirit to also stay in such a sick, broken place, like my body. That would've been no life at all, for me or my family. I knew I would have to work hard at finding joy in the land of the living in the physical condition I was in, and that I couldn't rely on my strength anymore. I pressed on and pressed forward. But deep in my heart, there was always this little nugget of Truth that God was still up to something. So that's what I clung to: HOPE.
Soon afterward, I was referred to Dr. Brian Borden in Fond du Lac. He had a reputation of using alternative means along with antibiotics to successfully eradicate Lyme Disease. I knew he was my last chance, and so did he. There was nowhere else to go. Thankfully, and with praise, I must report that since March I have been working with 3 doctors. I like to think of them as my "team." They have finally pieced together a road map towards physical healing for me.
Finally, for the first time ever, I've seen slight improvements; many ups and downs. Nothing earth-shattering or else you would have heard about it by now. I may actually have hired the local news to do a story on me! Anyway, it is a very, very slow process. I've accepted that I still have a long way to go; that I can only be in control of some things. I do know that physical healing is now within my grasp; I can feel it. I just need to be patient in the waiting and to be open to what God has in store for me in the meantime. As much as I wanted a spontaneous miracle to heal me physically (and still do!), I know that there were and are still many more pressing matters of the heart that need to be addressed first.
I need to make myself clear: Lyme Disease is an epidemic, especially in states like Wisconsin. Its symptoms mimic anything from fibromyalgia, arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome to Parkinson's, autism, and multiple sclerosis plus many more. People have been diagnosed with a disease, but are getting worse or not getting better. Or they get labeled with "chronic fatigue syndrome," which has no cure. There are so few trained doctors who understand the testing, diagnosis and treatment of this complex disease. And the general public is clueless. You are one of the lucky ones if you notice a bite or rash and get treated right away. And even then, your standard blood test might still be negative. Unfortunately, a round of antibiotics might not do the trick or the bacteria can go dormant in your body for years. It will rear its ugly head by creating other diseases, and then your body has woven itself into a very tangled web of disease. Can you tell I'm just a little passionate about this subject? ;-)
Lyme Disease is also frustrating to have because people with this disease don't look "sick" so people assume all is well. It is a disease that can make one feel lonely, misunderstood, and even more hopeless. The feeling that you have to convince people that you really, truly are sick; that it isn't all in your head. To feel like you have to come with a another good explanation for canceling plans besides always saying, "I feel sick....still."
Phew! It sure has been a long journey, and I'm still a work in progress. Aren't we all? Now you've gotten the full physical health story. I've met many wonderful people along the way (I like to call them angels) at just the perfect time; from all over the United States right to my backdoor. Thank you to those who have loved and encouraged me, offered me support, helped problem solve, or just been there to listen because sometimes there isn't anything to say except, "I'm here for you." I am also thankful for the many doctors who tried to help me the best they knew how.
Even during what seems like a hopeless situation, there is always Hope. What I've learned along the way is that I have to continue to trust God each step of the way. And Trusting is the hardest step to take of all, but the most important. I encourage you to also trust in His plan for your life. He gives us hope and a future, with no plans to harm us, for all of us to prosper. He wants to bless us and pour out His Love on us.
Cling to that if you are in the midst of a trial right now that feels like its crushing you. If you feel like your prayers are just flying up to nowhere. When all you are left with is sitting in the Waiting Room, desperately crying out to God from the depths of your soul to free you from this trial (s). And God remains silent (even though He's really not). While you are waiting....waiting....waiting....continue to pray to Him, serve Him, and stay strong. Believe that He is good and faithful and overflowing with Love.
And never, ever, let go of HOPE because sometimes, that's all we have. And really, when it comes down to it, that is our anchor. It's what keeps us grounded, steady, and strong. It's what helps carry us over the finish line.
For much, much more detailed, helpful information about Lyme disease, please see (http://www.lymebytes.blogspot.com)
Who would have thought that a tiny, black, creepy little bug, could cause such havoc on the human body? That a bug, smaller than your pinky fingernail, could totally turn your life upside down? Well, definitely not me! Gosh, growing up in Wisconsin, it seemed like everyone knew about ticks and Lyme Disease. It really never seemed to be a big deal really. You were just warned to pay extra special attention in the summer. Mostly, I remember us worrying more for our dogs, than for us. No one ever worried about getting bit or any long terms effects. As kids, we vacationed "up north" near Montello, WI and it was very, very rare to not see us kids running around at night with our flashlights. Or ever not being outside. It was great fun!
When Megan was just a baby, she had a tick stuck on her head. Mark did his magic and took care of it. Never thought about it again, especially after our dog, Cally, died in 2007.
That was until last summer when one test turned things around for me.
You see, I had been struggling with chronic health problems up until that point for a long, long time. Since high school, I never felt quite right; always so, so fatigued. I battled with depression for years. In college I would schedule my classes around my nap time. I thought everyone operated this way. It never dawned on me that people didn't feel as sick as I did.
In a few years time, I completed my Teaching Degree when Matthew and Megan were still very small. My student teaching involved 4 months of full-time work while Mark worked the weekends to compensate. During this time, I was also in the midst of the roller coaster ride of grief. Then along came our special blessing, Luke, after a long time of waiting. His early life brought many challenges for both of us battling thrush and me needing a kidney stone removed when he was just 2 weeks old. In 2007, I lost my mom to cancer and our beloved dog, Cally, went to Rainbow Bridge. Do you think God was trying to get my attention? Only He knows why it took so much.
I continued to push myself despite feeling worse and worse. After all, I was trying to raise a family! I couldn't just take some sick days. We all just tried to adapt to "mom is always sick & can't get better" mentality. What a hopeless situation we were in. At least that is how it looked and felt.
It was all just too much for my poor body and soul to handle. Our bodies weren't designed to withstand so many years of emotional, spiritual, and physical stress. So mine shut down. I had kept myself so busy that I didn't notice how much the years of stress were damaging my being, on all levels.
I recall the exact moment the crash came: I was riding on a spinning bike right after Christmas 2007 trying to burn off those calories we all gain. All of a sudden, I felt this overwhelming dark cloud engulf me, stopping me dead in my tracks (or shall I say dead in my peddle stroke?) I remember thinking, "Something is just not right with me."
This began the quest to find out what was wrong with me. I've had every "test" under the sun, many diagnoses, hours and hours on the Internet searching for answers. How many times I'd sit in front of a doctor and he'd be shaking his head saying, "I just don't know what to do anymore." I started going from doctor to doctor to doctor....even for our 14-year wedding anniversary, Mark & I drove to see a "Specialist" in Pennsylvania. I was that desperate to get well. I would do whatever it took.
So, I spent about 3 years going around in circles, either getting worse from the crazy medications and doses, or I didn't have any improvements at all. I was swallowing so many pills and supplements that I'd forget what I'd taken or not taken. All awhile we were watching our money fly out the window. I was stuck in a vicious never ending cycle of hopelessness and despair. There seemed no way out, no place else to turn.
The best way I can describe how I've felt the majority of my life, and honestly, still do on a daily basis is to compare it to how it felt when you were a teenager or a college student and you pulled an "all-nighter". Maybe some of you still do that, but unless you have a baby, I think that is something you might want to fix :) That just cannot be good for the body. Anyway, do you remember how you felt that next day? Like a truck hit you? Like it took so much energy to even put two thoughts together, let alone function in life? Now imagine feeling that way, yet still having to work or take care of a family or go to school or even take care of simple tasks such as laundry and eating? And it's not only the debilitating fatigue. That is just the main common symptom all people with disease share. Add on a host of many other symptoms, many times excruciating pain. That is what people with chronic illness go through on a daily basis, sometimes even hourly.
Usually a good nights sleep would take care of the problem. Not for me, nor for many, many people out there suffering with ill health. No matter how much sleep I could ever possibly get would never, ever make me feel rested. I somehow have been able to keep going, one foot in front of the other. In God's great mercy, strength, and faithfulness, He is carrying me.
Finally, I went to my regular doctor for a yearly "check-up" and she ended up referring me to a Hematologist. During my consult, he said something like, "It looks to me like you have some sort of chronic infection or virus that has worn down your immune system." He ran some additional tests. All I knew was that I was very, very sick and had no clear direction anymore on how to get better.
I came home and thought about what he said, and then I remembered in all my years of diligently searching for answers on the Internet, I recalled reading "if you are chronically ill and have not been able to get better, you should be tested for Lyme Disease." My immediate thought was, "That's not me. I don't remember being bit by a tick or having a rash. I don't have joint pain." But then again, I did frolic in the up north woods every summer as a child. Hmmm...
This began my research into the best, most accurate, recommended test, treatment and doctor for Lyme Disease in Wisconsin. (Can you tell I'm a researcher?) My eyes were opened to the vast world of those suffering with Lyme. I already knew that the normal lab test your doctor would run was highly inaccurate - many, many false negatives. I figured I might as well get the most accurate test to just rule it out, never ever expecting that I had it. And, plus, out of the 15+ doctors I went to, no one ever suggested this as even a remote possibility.
When the results came back positive, I almost fell over. By this point, I knew all too well what this disease entailed, and I didn't even want to go there. A tick-borne bacteria infection that overtakes your body. A disease that some say you can never get rid of. A disease which carries right along with it, many, many other infections. The controversy about what treatment type is best is a confusing, never-ending cycle.
My Lyme Specialist thinks that I've had the disease for over 20 years. The cause of my other diseases: Celiac Disease, Hashimoto's, Hypopituitary, and Addison's Disease. Finally, an answer, some direction. The treatment: to start high doses of a various antibiotics immediately for a long period of time, and to keep trying different combinations until something worked. OK - let's go. Let's eradicate this sucker and his friends.....that was in July 2009.
After 8 months of treatment, and no progress made, plus the heaviness of life finally taking its toll, I reached a place of complete brokenness, both in body and spirit. I knew the only way I could keep going was to look Up and reach Out. To surrender and let God put the pieces back together in His way, not mine.
So I began the process of renewing my mind and heart: to finally accept a life of sickness. I knew that I would somehow have to find a way to try and live with it, instead of fighting it. However, I also knew that I couldn't allow my Spirit to also stay in such a sick, broken place, like my body. That would've been no life at all, for me or my family. I knew I would have to work hard at finding joy in the land of the living in the physical condition I was in, and that I couldn't rely on my strength anymore. I pressed on and pressed forward. But deep in my heart, there was always this little nugget of Truth that God was still up to something. So that's what I clung to: HOPE.
Soon afterward, I was referred to Dr. Brian Borden in Fond du Lac. He had a reputation of using alternative means along with antibiotics to successfully eradicate Lyme Disease. I knew he was my last chance, and so did he. There was nowhere else to go. Thankfully, and with praise, I must report that since March I have been working with 3 doctors. I like to think of them as my "team." They have finally pieced together a road map towards physical healing for me.
Finally, for the first time ever, I've seen slight improvements; many ups and downs. Nothing earth-shattering or else you would have heard about it by now. I may actually have hired the local news to do a story on me! Anyway, it is a very, very slow process. I've accepted that I still have a long way to go; that I can only be in control of some things. I do know that physical healing is now within my grasp; I can feel it. I just need to be patient in the waiting and to be open to what God has in store for me in the meantime. As much as I wanted a spontaneous miracle to heal me physically (and still do!), I know that there were and are still many more pressing matters of the heart that need to be addressed first.
I need to make myself clear: Lyme Disease is an epidemic, especially in states like Wisconsin. Its symptoms mimic anything from fibromyalgia, arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome to Parkinson's, autism, and multiple sclerosis plus many more. People have been diagnosed with a disease, but are getting worse or not getting better. Or they get labeled with "chronic fatigue syndrome," which has no cure. There are so few trained doctors who understand the testing, diagnosis and treatment of this complex disease. And the general public is clueless. You are one of the lucky ones if you notice a bite or rash and get treated right away. And even then, your standard blood test might still be negative. Unfortunately, a round of antibiotics might not do the trick or the bacteria can go dormant in your body for years. It will rear its ugly head by creating other diseases, and then your body has woven itself into a very tangled web of disease. Can you tell I'm just a little passionate about this subject? ;-)
Lyme Disease is also frustrating to have because people with this disease don't look "sick" so people assume all is well. It is a disease that can make one feel lonely, misunderstood, and even more hopeless. The feeling that you have to convince people that you really, truly are sick; that it isn't all in your head. To feel like you have to come with a another good explanation for canceling plans besides always saying, "I feel sick....still."
Phew! It sure has been a long journey, and I'm still a work in progress. Aren't we all? Now you've gotten the full physical health story. I've met many wonderful people along the way (I like to call them angels) at just the perfect time; from all over the United States right to my backdoor. Thank you to those who have loved and encouraged me, offered me support, helped problem solve, or just been there to listen because sometimes there isn't anything to say except, "I'm here for you." I am also thankful for the many doctors who tried to help me the best they knew how.
Even during what seems like a hopeless situation, there is always Hope. What I've learned along the way is that I have to continue to trust God each step of the way. And Trusting is the hardest step to take of all, but the most important. I encourage you to also trust in His plan for your life. He gives us hope and a future, with no plans to harm us, for all of us to prosper. He wants to bless us and pour out His Love on us.
Cling to that if you are in the midst of a trial right now that feels like its crushing you. If you feel like your prayers are just flying up to nowhere. When all you are left with is sitting in the Waiting Room, desperately crying out to God from the depths of your soul to free you from this trial (s). And God remains silent (even though He's really not). While you are waiting....waiting....waiting....continue to pray to Him, serve Him, and stay strong. Believe that He is good and faithful and overflowing with Love.
And never, ever, let go of HOPE because sometimes, that's all we have. And really, when it comes down to it, that is our anchor. It's what keeps us grounded, steady, and strong. It's what helps carry us over the finish line.
For much, much more detailed, helpful information about Lyme disease, please see (http://www.lymebytes.blogspot.com)
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