O Glorious Day

Today was a day of Rejoicing! for our family because of two very special reasons.

First of all, it was Easter and Jesus Christ is Risen! and Alive! and One day He is coming again ... 

Now that is something to Celebrate! and to look forward to.

Because that will be one Glorious Day ... as it was over 2,000 years ago.

And secondly, today our youngest child, Luke Robert Grade, turned 8-years old. 

A birthday on Easter Sunday! - now that is something to celebrate - yet, more importantly, I celebrate:

His Life!

The Story of his Life is worth sharing with all of you, my readers, because it is a Story worth telling.

If it weren't for the gift of Luke ... I, Lori, would not be who I am today. 

My heart wouldn't have been "stitched up" in the way it has ...  

Healed

My soul would still have a wound on it that I know I never would've recovered from.

When Luke was placed in my arms safe and healthy on this day 8 years ago, I knew what a priceless gift I was truly being given. I knew how many buckets and buckets of tears that I had shed in order to get to that place of holding him in my arms. I knew how hard that broken road had been to walk on. I knew how many times that I had fallen off of it and just couldn't get back up.

And I knew that saying Thank You to my God would never be enough.

Those two simple words for all that we had been given.

As my tears soaked the top of his sweet little newborn head ... and his eyes & heart connected with mine ... and I took in all of his newborn smells & noises ... all I felt was Joy... indescribable joy...something I never experienced before. Not like that. Not in that way.

I simply felt heartfelt gratitude for being given the opportunity, the privilege, the honor ... to be his Mom ... after all that we had lost.

You see ... Luke came into our family after we had walked a very long road of grief, sorrow and loss. It began when our daughter, Emily Rose, died on July 4, 2001 - just 5 days before my due date. An autopsy showed no obvious cause of death. 

We were left with many unanswered questions.

In one single moment our lives were changed forever. 

Then we had to also say good-bye to our twins on 11/29/01 ... as well as another baby in the spring of 2002 and also on July 4, 2002.

I fell into a "pit" that I never, ever thought I would be able to get out of - this is called Grief.

After all, parents aren't suppose to bury their children first. It just isn't suppose to work that way. 

But unfortunately, it does - all of the time.

Yet, that is the hand we were dealt, and it hasn't been an easy hand to play. But I have had to learn how to play it in the best way I knew how - one foot in front of the other. One day at a time.

 I do know for sure that I have never walked it alone ... the broken road that led to the birth of our son, Luke.

Because I know that all 5 of our precious babies are in a really good place ... a place that my own finite, human, limitless mind can't even possibly imagine... a place called Heaven ... and that all is well ... 

it is because of this belief that I have peace.

That peace is also what allowed me to press on ... to Hope again ... to trust that weeping may endure for a night, but joy does come in the morning. That promise from God Himself from Psalm 30 is what I clung to in my darkest, loneliness nights. 

Because that is all I had. He is all I had. And He has been faithful to me.

So when Luke was placed in my arms by Dr. Margaret Carr at St. Joseph's Hospital 8 years ago today,  it just felt like our world was made whole once again. 

A new life ... a new beginning ... 

All at the perfect time with spring in the air and everything else coming to life as well.
 

So today as we celebrated Easter with our family, we also celebrated and embraced the time that we've been given with our Luke.

As his mom on his birthday, the one who his life came through, I would like to shower some love and praise on our little boy who's name means Light.

Luke just has this Light about him that Shines right on through his small, tough little boy body. He is tough - that is for sure! He is "all boy".  He is not afraid to get dirty. In fact, the dirtier, the better. He has so much energy and a zest for Life that I stand in awe of him. 

He can take down his older brother Matthew in a flash {who by the way is 6 years older than him}!

Yet, he has such a tender, soft side to him that will just simply melt your heart. 

He is always the first one to notice when someone's feelings are hurt, or when someone needs help. 

He just loves so simply and so freely. 

So as this day comes to a close and the kids get tucked safely into their beds, I think over this day and all the wrapping paper flying here and there... and Luke 'practicing' on our kitchen floor with his new roller blades ... and all the sugar he has consumed in just a 24-hour period! ... to time spent with loved ones ... to celebrating our Risen Savior and Lord ... and all I can say is that this was a day lived really well.  

A day worth remembering. A day worth Celebrating! 

I hope it was for you and your family too.

Happy Easter to you & your family~

Happy 8th Birthday, Luke Robert Grade !
Shine your Light!
You are LOVED beyond measure!

Friendship

In the past few days while I have been "chauffeuring" the kids here and there in our last lovely Wisconsin April snowfall/hailstorm {I already know what you Wisconsinites are thinking!}, I was listening to one of my favorite radio stations called k-love.

I love this station because they only play positive and encouraging music.
And I definitely need to fill my mind and heart up with that, especially while I'm driving~

I, particularly, love listening to the conversations the DJ's get into with each other, and of course, the people 'out there' who are listening.
Many times they encourage and challenge me to really think about something in a whole different way. 

They were naturally discussing Jesus and Easter because we are in what Christians call Holy Week.
The radio DJ's were discussing just what Jesus all endured
in just one week's time!

Of course, we all know about His Death & Crucifixion & Resurrection, but what they got me thinking about on a much deeper level was this idea of Friendship.

Naturally, my mind and heart did go to that place of what Jesus must have really truly felt when his closest, dearest friends betrayed Him in the worse possible way...at the worst possible time.

I've been there, too, and I highly doubt that I'm alone in that.

Ouch!

The first betrayal involved the “worst” of the disciples as some might say: Judas, who betrayed Jesus with a "kiss" for thirty pieces of silver for his execution. The second involves Peter, who would deny his connection to Jesus 3 different times out of shame or embarrassment or fear
{who knows right?}

I guess I don't blame them. I would like to think I would've been the bold, brave one to stand up for Jesus, and do the right thing.
Yet, I am now all too familiar with my own shortcomings and weaknesses; areas I need to grow in.

I will admit that I, unfortunately, may have done the exact same thing as them...in those circumstances...at that time in history.

Yet, He was Jesus, God's Son, and therefore, Perfect and showed us how to do it the 'right' way.
Yet He did it so well! I think, and It is so hard to do!

First off, I know Jesus probably did what I would've done, and I have many times when I have felt that all too familiar "sting" of judgment, betrayal, or rejection... and that is to just simply cry.

I imagine it to be like one of those gut-wrenching cries that we would never let anyone see.

Yep! Been there, done that. One too many times.
And it is a tough place to be in.

I realized that I, unfortunately, have gotten stuck in that place; that hasn't served me or others well at all. 

I can so easily imagine and go to "what Jesus must have felt like" when I read what His friends did to Him, but when I look at it from a different vantage point, that being... not my own...

I think, How many times has it been me doing the wounding? {gulp!}

 Yes...I remember how many times it has been I, Lori, who did the 'stinging'...with my words, or the tone of my voice, or just simply my body language.

But what Jesus did so easily and so freely and so Amazingly Well was to simply Forgive.
And He didn't even need to ask Why? a thousand times, like I've always felt the need to.

Jesus just kept on forgiving over and over...as many times as it took... 

In fact, He says we should forgive 70 X 7 times, which if my math skills are serving me correctly, then that means 490 times! Yikes! That's a lot of times.

Now that is hard to do, especially when the wound cuts very, very deep...
and especially when it is from the same person.

With that being said, Jesus never promoted being a "doormat", either. He taught about Balance.

I've had to learn the hard way about this ... there is always a balance to everything.

And what simply Amazes me again - is that when Jesus came out of the grave, when He rose again, He told Mary to go tell His disciples and Peter! Yes...Peter - His friend who denied even knowing Him.

Now that is Forgiveness.
Now that is Love.
Now that is Friendship.

And I think Peter could simply not resist the pull of  Jesus' Love - it was just too hard  to resist! :)

Anyway, when I think back over my Life - to all of my Friends that have come and gone...some already in Heaven... many have stayed awhile... and have taught me lessons that I never would've learned otherwise...
Some I've had to let go for one reason or another; I will always treasure the memories.

Then my heart returns to the present moment, the Here and Now, and I think of all of the people in my Life currently who I like to call Friend...

Or I call them my kindred spirits...or my "team"...my Best Friends...
{male and female alike...young and old...wearing skin or fur...blood relatives and not...'blasts' from the past...wearing white lab coats or not}

And I realize that just like Jesus, they have loved and accepted me for "me"...unconditionally, without judgment. They have extended mercy and grace to me when I didn't deserve it.

They were silent, even when they sensed I may be walking straight into a mistake, yet knew "me" and my heart's intent well enough to know that it was my mistake to make... and my mistake to learn from ... and then my mistake to hopefully grow from.

They forgave me for the times I hurt or disappointed them because they loved me so much.

It is as simple as that.

And I like to call that Friendship.

The real kind. The kind that you can trust wholeheartedly in. The kind where it is safe to share your heart.

The kind that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

I like to think of them all as "gifts" - straight from God Himself from Heaven above straight to me, Lori...
my Friends...

I would like to end this post with this note to my Friends...
{I hope you know who you are!}

Thank you...

Thank you for showing me what true Friendship looks like, and for showing me how to do the job of Friend well.
The kind of friend that I want to be and
the kind of friend I continue to strive to be.

P.S. If you've never tuned into the television show that airs on Lifetime (or you can get past seasons at the library) called Army Wives...then you are truly missing a "gem" of a show about Friendship, plus much, much more!
And yes...I'm talkin' about the real kind!

I love P!nk...the color and the singer

I love the color Pink! It is so girlie. So feminine. So fun. Not that men cannot wear Pink. That isn't what I'm saying at all. In fact, wear pink! Go for it! It is an awesome color! And because of my love for this color, I also happen to have a Hello Kitty fetish.{Oh no...my secret is out!}

I have come to accept that it is completely okay & acceptable for a grown adult woman like me, who is about to turn 39-years old in June, to love Hello Kitty. Why not? It is Fun~

I do draw the line though. Megan keeps trying to get me to wear Hello Kitty jewelry or buy a purse. Not! 

A simple cell phone charm will do just fine. Well...maybe not - we do have Hello Kitty car mats after all. {Thanks Karie!}

Because of my love for the color Pink, I have naturally been drawn to the actress who calls herself Pink. I don't even know her real name or much of her background. 

What I have learned about her, I learned through her music and only watching one video of her.

I am sure many of you know who she is and are familiar with some of the songs like So What and I Am Still a Rock Star! I do know that when she wrote these songs, she was going through a very difficult time in her marriage, and her anger and pain just radiate through her music.

If you never got to see her performance at the 2010 Grammy Awards - it is worth watching...twirling in acrobatic style from the ceiling, twirling in the air with water spraying all over the audience... all while singing her hit Glitter in the Air...a song about Life.

Because of my own personal belief system and convictions about modesty, I wouldn't suggest to my daughter, Megan, to go out and expose her body in that way, not by any means. I also wouldn't encourage my kids to listen to music with swear words in them. I also wouldn't encourage them to even get certain lyrics stuck in their heads. In fact, this is what I discourage.

However, with all of that said, Pink inspires me. She just does. People like her.

I love that she is courageous and bold enough to simply be herself...despite what people think or say about her. She says what she feels she needs to say, in the way that she feels she needs to, and she does it through her music. She is willing to just be herself, and she is willing to be vulnerable & transparent.

Her latest hit called Perfect leaped at me through the radio frequencies because I got this sense that Pink finally "gets" it. And I also have the knowledge that she & her husband got back together so her newest hit is even more inspirational to me because I get this feeling that healing has happened in her life - and that's a good thing! 

I get a sense that Love broke her walls down too.

When I listen to the lyrics, the clean ones that is, I realize how her message is so right on! Please Pause the music from my play list at the bottom of the page before playing~

 

I get this sense that she has finally realized that it isn't about everyone else...that she is okay and perfect just the way she is...as she was created to be...with all of her numerous tattoos all over her body...and her crazy hairstyles...and simply, her uniqueness. 

And the thing is, I could so easily apply her lyrics exactly to my own life as if it were God talking to me! 

And I have, and so can you. 

Just stop believing the Lies.

And that is when Healing comes...at least it did for me - when those words, that message sung through a singer named P!nk...the message that   

You are Loved for who you were created to be... and not for what you do or didn't do or will do or will become...  
but for Who you are!

 God calls that Perfect!

Perfect to Him

I hope that P!nk encouraged and inspired you in some way like she has done for me. 

I hope today when you see the color Pink...or maybe even dare to put on the color pink...
that you will smile big and feel happy & warm all over...
I believe that you will.