Who inspires you?

In the spirit of getting more 'comment flow' in that section of my blog, I'm throwing out a question to you, my readers, in the hopes that you will respond! 

So, to encourage some feedback from all of you (I'm getting a little lonely on my end~), I would like to know:

Who inspires you?

Come on~ don't be shy! Just list whomever INSPIRES you in some fashion or another ... someone who just makes your heart feel Happy inside when you think of them or their Life or their Story encourages or uplifts you in some way. Maybe it is someone who you really feel has contributed something good to the world in some way.
(Oh!~, and fyi, you can post at the bottom 'anonymously' if you so wish, but it'll still be fun for me and others to see your name in black & white)

Well, since this is my blog, I guess I'll go first ... :)

Hmm?!

I really have quite a long list of names of people who Inspire me ... if I had to start listing them, I am sure it would reach the thousands upon thousands.

Who & what comes instantly to my mind and heart is our Luke who participated in the 2nd Grade Living Wax Museum recently, and he chose to be Reggie White.
(Yah, I agree Luke~ ... he had a Story worth telling and you did a fine job of doing that!)

So, in answer to my own question of Who inspires me?, I will start with my Number One, and that being Jesus Christ, because for me, personally, He and His Life and His Story tops the cake as far as Who inspires me the most in my Life.

Secondly, in the spirit of Oprah Winfrey's 25 year 'retirement' next week from her television show, I will list her as someone who Inspires me in a big way ... the Story of her Life.

And so ~ in Honor and Thanksgiving of Her and the Love she has brought & shared with the whole world, but particularly to me, in some fashion or another (I actually went to Chicago to her show in 1998 ~ all thanks to Mark for finally getting me those tickets!!), I would like to speak of what she has taught me personally over the years, as I essentially grew up with her.

I was, after all, only 12 years old when I started watching her show and learning from her about Life.

All the lessons that I learned from either watching her over the years unfold her Story or by listening to someone she had on her show or a book or author she recommended ... on and on I could go.

Her gifts to me, personally, have simply been priceless and too many to list here. And, the great thing is, I know many, many people feel the same as I do.

Oprah just simply Inspires me ... the person that she is and the person she has so graciously and openly shared with the whole world.

Her Story. Her Life. All of it inspires me.

Her Story of coming up and out of a broken home; to surviving the sexual abuse of a relative; to losing her own baby at the tender age of 14; to fighting food addiction, weight issues, health problems, lawsuits ...

What I most love about her, though, is her willingness to just be herself with others and to not be afraid to be real. She is so willing to show people her heart. She is so willing to be open and honest and vulnerable and transparent with people. She is teachable. She just lays her heart right out there for the whole world to see. And yes ~ I've watched people trample all over it throughout the years and have also watched her endure the criticism and heartache, yet she just kept pushing forward and pressing on through it all with grace and dignity.

I like to call that perseverance.

We've seen her cry with people, laugh loud and big when people are overcome by joy and happiness in their own lives (and this is mostly due to her own generosity & thoughtfulness). We've watched her grace people with many, many gifts of material items and much more. She loves to give back. Pay it forward.

Love.

It is these kind of people that Inspire me.

I would love to share this you tube video with you that was sent to me in an e-mail from a friend. This person, Carrie Underwood --  well ... let me just say that she, too, also inspires me in a big, big way ... Her Story.

This recording is definitely something worth watching is all I got to say!

To enjoy the full video and music, you will need to hit the "Pause" button on my music player at the bottom of the page, first -- and then hit the "Play" button on the video.
{And for an extra special bonus ;) I am giving you some additional 'hints' of others to add to the list of inspirational people ... like who is also in the video with her, plus the lady that he is married to and even the audience members who give her a standing ovation!}

Enjoy!~

Now, if you follow the famous television show called American Idol like I have, then I think you will also agree with me that Carrie ... this simple farm girl from Oklahoma! ... is simply inspirational, too.

And for 'dedication' sake in my blog-posting-style of mine, I would like to dedicate this one to someone much more dear to my heart than Oprah or Carrie or Vince or Amy, and that being my very own husband, Mark, because today he turns 41! And, quite honestly, I feel pretty lucky that he came into the world, as I know many of you reading also do.

But, most importantly, Mark Inspires me more so than any other human being on earth ... my Husband and the Father of our kids.

Because, he, too, like all of them ... just simply loves, loves, loves ... {and if you have the pleasure of knowing my guy well - like I do, then I know many of you will be nodding your head in agreement as you read this ~ adults & many kids alike!}

Mark does Pay It Forward. He serves and gives and teaches and continues to remain true and humble to his most important calling on His Life. And that makes me, his Wife, feel very Happy inside, today, and every day, but especially on today ... his Birthday.

So here's a shout out to you, my hubby, Mark ...

Enjoy Today ... your Birthday! :) We hope you love all of the 'stuff' the kids wanted to get you ... like your big chocolate chip cookie "cake" and your Happy Birthday balloon, the donuts for breakfast, the gifts & cards, seeing the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie on the big screen ... but above all else, we know what you truly treasure & love & adore -- and that is time spent with us! So thank you for all you do and who you are. Love ya' ~

As I end this blog post, I "dare" or ha! -- shall I say "challenge" someone to go next ... or shall I say 'first' ?! in answering my question ... to add to my already started list of favorites as you can already see~

After all,  ... if you know me, Lori, well enough by now from my blog or otherwise, you will know that I am definitely keeping track 'somewhere' of my Favorite's List of the Most Inspirational People! ... there is a recorded version somewhere, but it is definitely on real live paper & using a pen, instead of a key stroke!

{Yes ... you guessed it! Probably in a journal of some kind, somewhere ... you know how I love those things!}

So, here goes ... the 'survey' is now on :)) ... on your mark, get set, go ~

Who inspires YOU?

Happy 41st Birthday! Thank you! We love you!

My Mother's Eulogy

I think that I know and have heard every single song that Elvis Presley wrote or sang. I'm pretty sure that I saw every movie that he was ever in. When I was a teenager, I even read his ex-wife's book to learn about their Story. 

And it was quite a Story, yet so very sad. Sort of like my Mom's Story. 

Sort of like my very own.

My Mom simply adored this King of Rock n' Roll. 

She just connected with him in some very deep, soul kind of way.

My mom even had a room in her final earthly home "dedicated" to him ... pictures and memorabilia ... all her collectibles of him and his Life; we called it The Elvis Room and still do.
My sister and I "take turns" sleeping in that room. It brings me comfort and peace sleeping in there, as I suspect it does for her too.

Sadly, my Mom never got to see the one place in the entire world that I know would've made her the happiest, and that being Graceland. 

As a child our home was constantly filled with Elvis music and many other "oldies but goodies" blasting from the record player or tape deck ... music just filled up our home ... and many, many times I'd catch my mom singin' right along ... while she took care of her Home, and all of us ... her Family.

And she was doing it all in the best way she knew how ... in the only way she knew how ... in the only way she was shown and learned herself.

Now that I am so much "older and wiser" ... the Wife of Mark for the past 16 years ... a few bumps under my belt ... plus the privilege of being called Mom myself, I have a whole new understanding and appreciation for what she was trying  to teach me so long ago ~

I can now see all of the sacrifices she made of herself for us, especially to my Dad. She loved him with her whole being. She served him in some way, in some fashion right up until her death. But more importantly, I can now appreciate the sacrifices she made for me ...

her Daughter. 

The one child of hers that she knew she hurt the most, and so did I. 

I was the one child of their "4" that she knew that she wounded in the deepest possible way, and so did I. 

I was the one child out of her living 3 that she felt she had fallen too far for me to love or forgive.

I was so angry at her when I sat on her death bed; I looked her straight in the eyes; I asked her boldly if she had any regrets. The silence was long and hard for me to bare because in my heart I knew what I wanted to hear, but sort of already knew what was coming. 

Her answer of No.

That wasn't at all what I was hoping to hear by any means. I didn't get the answer I was needing or hoping for or wanting; neither did she. I held back and so did she. We both felt it. We both knew. We both shut down.

Words didn't need to be spoken at all.

All I wanted to hear, all I needed to hear ... she didn't say.

She just couldn't get the words out; and neither could I. 

She probably couldn't after what cancer and its treatments did to her physical body, plus what the battle of alcoholism raging in her body did to her mind, heart, and soul.  

She wasn't a healthy woman by any means. And neither was I.

But on a much deeper level, my Mom just couldn't say those words I needed to hear so desperately because she needed to hear them, too, from me, her middle Child ... her Daughter. 

I can now see and appreciate how much I was truly loved and accepted by her. 

I now know what we both needed that day to be said; the words that were left unsaid. 

The words that would've freed us both then, but instead, I got freed two years later. 

She had gotten freed immediately when she took her final breath.

And I know for sure that if I had a chance for a re-do with her, knowing what I know now, living through what I have lived through since her death, that I definitely would have done it in this way instead ... sort of in an "Elvis kind of way" ~

I would've grabbed hold of that woman, my Mother, all 80 pounds of her ... and I would've clung to that empty shell of a human being. And then I would've looked straight into her big beautiful blue eyes, eyes that held so much misunderstood sadness & pain, and I would've said loudly and clearly in my loud, fast talkin', passionate kind of way ... these words that we both needed to say and hear to Heal ...

I LOVE YOU... I FORGIVE YOU ...

It is okay ... I am going to be okay ... just go! Be free!

Live!

I couldn't say these words to her back then on her death bed, nor at her Memorial Service because my heart wasn't in the right place, but it is now. 

This really good place of being able to Honor and Celebrate Her Life.

So today when I think of my Mom who is in Heaven, I have a 'word picture' now of her that I choose to focus on ... to treasure ... to cherish that memory, instead of all of the old ones. 

I've let those go a long time ago.

I have this "image" of her smiling, happy, boisterous self ... singin' right along with this Elvis' tune and of course! ...  this just has to be added in ... after all, I am talkin' about Karen Edwards here ... 

She is definitely shakin' her hips, drinkin' her beer & smokin' those darn cigarettes!

But most importantly, the thing that stands out the most for me in that image
is the  

Light in her eyes and the Smile on her face!

Now that is a good picture I chose to keep close to my heart until we meet again.

If you happened to have been in my Mom's Life in some way then you were given a very rare precious gift to be treasured forever. 

She was one very special Lady that is truly missed each day.

So in Honor of Her, this Day, in Celebration of her Life ... I will end this post ... my Eulogy to my Mom, Karen Aurelia Edwards, with these words ~

Thank You!
Happy Mother's Day!

In Loving Memory of Karen Aurelia Edwards 12/14/46 - 5/4/07

To read the full obituary please click here.

O Glorious Day

Today was a day of Rejoicing! for our family because of two very special reasons.

First of all, it was Easter and Jesus Christ is Risen! and Alive! and One day He is coming again ... 

Now that is something to Celebrate! and to look forward to.

Because that will be one Glorious Day ... as it was over 2,000 years ago.

And secondly, today our youngest child, Luke Robert Grade, turned 8-years old. 

A birthday on Easter Sunday! - now that is something to celebrate - yet, more importantly, I celebrate:

His Life!

The Story of his Life is worth sharing with all of you, my readers, because it is a Story worth telling.

If it weren't for the gift of Luke ... I, Lori, would not be who I am today. 

My heart wouldn't have been "stitched up" in the way it has ...  

Healed

My soul would still have a wound on it that I know I never would've recovered from.

When Luke was placed in my arms safe and healthy on this day 8 years ago, I knew what a priceless gift I was truly being given. I knew how many buckets and buckets of tears that I had shed in order to get to that place of holding him in my arms. I knew how hard that broken road had been to walk on. I knew how many times that I had fallen off of it and just couldn't get back up.

And I knew that saying Thank You to my God would never be enough.

Those two simple words for all that we had been given.

As my tears soaked the top of his sweet little newborn head ... and his eyes & heart connected with mine ... and I took in all of his newborn smells & noises ... all I felt was Joy... indescribable joy...something I never experienced before. Not like that. Not in that way.

I simply felt heartfelt gratitude for being given the opportunity, the privilege, the honor ... to be his Mom ... after all that we had lost.

You see ... Luke came into our family after we had walked a very long road of grief, sorrow and loss. It began when our daughter, Emily Rose, died on July 4, 2001 - just 5 days before my due date. An autopsy showed no obvious cause of death. 

We were left with many unanswered questions.

In one single moment our lives were changed forever. 

Then we had to also say good-bye to our twins on 11/29/01 ... as well as another baby in the spring of 2002 and also on July 4, 2002.

I fell into a "pit" that I never, ever thought I would be able to get out of - this is called Grief.

After all, parents aren't suppose to bury their children first. It just isn't suppose to work that way. 

But unfortunately, it does - all of the time.

Yet, that is the hand we were dealt, and it hasn't been an easy hand to play. But I have had to learn how to play it in the best way I knew how - one foot in front of the other. One day at a time.

 I do know for sure that I have never walked it alone ... the broken road that led to the birth of our son, Luke.

Because I know that all 5 of our precious babies are in a really good place ... a place that my own finite, human, limitless mind can't even possibly imagine... a place called Heaven ... and that all is well ... 

it is because of this belief that I have peace.

That peace is also what allowed me to press on ... to Hope again ... to trust that weeping may endure for a night, but joy does come in the morning. That promise from God Himself from Psalm 30 is what I clung to in my darkest, loneliness nights. 

Because that is all I had. He is all I had. And He has been faithful to me.

So when Luke was placed in my arms by Dr. Margaret Carr at St. Joseph's Hospital 8 years ago today,  it just felt like our world was made whole once again. 

A new life ... a new beginning ... 

All at the perfect time with spring in the air and everything else coming to life as well.
 

So today as we celebrated Easter with our family, we also celebrated and embraced the time that we've been given with our Luke.

As his mom on his birthday, the one who his life came through, I would like to shower some love and praise on our little boy who's name means Light.

Luke just has this Light about him that Shines right on through his small, tough little boy body. He is tough - that is for sure! He is "all boy".  He is not afraid to get dirty. In fact, the dirtier, the better. He has so much energy and a zest for Life that I stand in awe of him. 

He can take down his older brother Matthew in a flash {who by the way is 6 years older than him}!

Yet, he has such a tender, soft side to him that will just simply melt your heart. 

He is always the first one to notice when someone's feelings are hurt, or when someone needs help. 

He just loves so simply and so freely. 

So as this day comes to a close and the kids get tucked safely into their beds, I think over this day and all the wrapping paper flying here and there... and Luke 'practicing' on our kitchen floor with his new roller blades ... and all the sugar he has consumed in just a 24-hour period! ... to time spent with loved ones ... to celebrating our Risen Savior and Lord ... and all I can say is that this was a day lived really well.  

A day worth remembering. A day worth Celebrating! 

I hope it was for you and your family too.

Happy Easter to you & your family~

Happy 8th Birthday, Luke Robert Grade !
Shine your Light!
You are LOVED beyond measure!